Finally, the situation got so bad that complaints reached Father Murphy, who decided to go out and talk to the teenagers.
The priest’s appearance was greeted by hoots and catcalls. But he went up to the leader and said, “Boys, I think there are better places for you to hang out than on God’s doorstep.” The gang leader defiantly said, “F*ck God.” Father Murphy winced. “You’re risking God’s wrath by breaking His holy laws and taking his name.” The gang leader said, “F*ck God’s laws. You name one, I break it. I swear, I f*ck , I steal, I smoke, I shoot people. I’ll tell you what. I’m gonna break every single f*cking law the church has ever make.” The priest said, “Do you really mean that?” The gang leader turned to his buddies and said, “Do I ever go back on a promise? Blood oath. I’m gonna break every church law.” “Well,” the priest said, “I know of at least one sin you haven’t committed.” “Yeah? Tell me what it is and I’ll do it.” Father Murphy replied, “There’s a strict church law against suicide.

*So go kill yourself.” **

Once upon a time an old man spread rumors that his neighbor was a thief. As a result, the young man was arrested. Days later the young man was proven innocent. After been released he sued the old man for wrongly accusing him. In court the old man told the Judge: ‘They were just comments, didn’t harm anyone..’ The judge, before passing sentence on the case, told the old man: ‘Write all the things you said about him on a piece of paper. Cut them up and on the way home, throw the pieces of paper out.
Tomorrow, come back to hear the sentence.’ The next day, the judge told the old man: ‘Before receiving the sentence, you will have to go out and gather all the pieces of paper that you threw out yesterday.’
The old man said: ‘I can’t do that! The wind spread them and I won’t know where to find them.’
The judge then replied: ‘The same way, simple comments may destroy the honor of a man to such an extent that one is not able to fix  it. “If you can’t speak well of someone, rather don’t say anything”
‘Let’s all be masters of our mouths, so that we won’t be slaves of our words.’!!!!!!!!

2. A friend in need is a pest indeed.

3. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.

4. Work is fine if it doesn’t take too much of your time.

5. When everything comes in your way You’re in the wrong lane.

6. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an oncoming train..

7. Born free, Taxed to death.

8. Everyone has a photographic memory, Some just don’t have film..

9. Life is unsure; Always eat your dessert first.

10. Smile, It makes people wonder what you are thinking.

11. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, You’ll have trouble putting on your pants.

12. It’s not hard to meet expenses, They are everywhere.

13. I love being a writer… What I can’t stand is the paperwork.

14. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.

15. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.

16. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.

17. In a country of free speech, Why are there phone bills?

18. If you cannot change your mind, Are you sure you have one?

19. Beat the 5 O’clock rush, Leave work at noon!

20. If you can’t convince them, Confuse them.

21. It’s not the fall that kills you. It’s the sudden stop at the end.

22. I couldn’t repair your brakes, So, I made your horn louder!

23. Hot glass looks same as cold glass.

24. The cigarette does the smoking, You are just the sucker.

25. Someday is not a day of the week.

26. Whenever I find the key to success, Someone changes the lock.

27. To Err is human, To forgive is not a company policy.

28. The road to success….Is always under construction.

29. Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, But, if you think again, neither does milk.

30. In order to get a loan, You first need to prove that you don’t need it.

And my favourite …

31. All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening or married to someone else.

Simplest Truth !
The Boy Who Sends More Forward Messages To All
Is The One Who Does Not Have A Girlfriend . . . =P =D

HEIGHT OF SURPRISE…! !!
GIRL: Today’s My B’DAY, Wat R U Giftng Me??
BOY: Can U C Dat “PINK CAR” On The Right Side Of The Road???
GIRL: Yah Yah…
BOY: I’m Giftng U “HAIR PINS” Of Dat Same Color..

Boy: Yaar Bohat Mushkil Hai ”Teacher” Se Pyar Karna.
Friend- Kyu?
Boy- Love Letter Bheja Tha Assignment Samajh Kar Check Kar Dia..!! Or Boli Handwriting Improve Karo.:)

ONLY MARRIED men.
Concerned about this, a local Woman’s Liberation Front Leader called on the CEO. She asked, “Why is it you limit your employees to married men? Do you consider us women are Weak, Dumb, Tantrum throwers or Bossy?”
“Not at all, Ma’am,” the CEO replied. “It is ONLY because our policy is to hire staff :-
-Who are used to obeying orders without questioning,
-Who are accustomed to being bossed over,
-Know how to keep quiet
-Put up with anything when I yell at them.
Men have these qualities so our policy is “GENTLEMEN ONLY LADIES  FORBIDDEN”!!

.

Now there is a P. S. to this for I sent it to a friend in Oregon who regularly contributes material to me on health issues. She replied with this most interesting experience about onions:
Weldon,thanks for the reminder. I don’t know about the farmers story…but, I do know that I contacted
pneumonia and needless to say I was very ill…I came across an article that said to cut both ends off an onion put one end on a fork and then place the forked end into an empty jar…placing the jar next to the sick patient at
night. It said the onion would be black in the morning from the germs…sure enough it happened just like that…the onion was a mess and I began to feel better. Another thing I read in the article was that onions and garlic placed around
the room saved many from the black plague years ago. They have powerful antibacterial, antiseptic properties.

In three words I can sum up everything that I learned about life: “It goes
on.”

When the going gets tough, make yourself realize that no matter what your
problem is, someone is and always will be fighting a harder battle.
Tears don’t help problems, and whining won’t make things better. Have faith
but understand that faith makes things possible, not easier. Have hope but
understand without doing anything nothing gets done.
Be there when people need you, because in order to have friends you must
first be one. Make the impossible, possible. Never give up! You only fail
when you fail to try.
Keep an open mind; you never know what you may learn. Never compromise your
standards for anyone, do it for you. Remember that laughter makes the world
go round. Beware of the person who has nothing to lose, see through the
problem to find the solution. Don’t make promises you can’t keep.
Keep in mind, those who gossip to you will gossip about you. Say only what
you mean, and don’t believe everything you hear because some day the story
will be about you.
Everyday is a gift, even if it sucks. Count your blessings, not your
troubles. Never waste an opportunity to tell someone that you love them,
because you never know what tomorrow has in store for you.
Give people a second chance, because no one is perfect. Love all that you
can, give all that you have, smile away your days, and dream away your
nights.

Life, what a wonderful thing!

YOU TELL ME TO EXERCISE!

What he doesn’t realize is it is still impossible to open a FaceBook
account without a valid email:)